It’s certainly a hot topic when Zimbos come together. Especially in my circles, probably because all our friends are in that phase of their life where they’re looking for a husband or a wife or they  just got engaged or married or are a few years into marriage. So why is it such a debatable topic? My thinking is that we were raised as Zimbabwean women and men and watched our mothers and fathers play that role according to our culture. We then left home at the tender age of eighteen to study and ended up making the diaspora our home. We’ve had to soak in this new life, environment and society, one that could be described as having no real protocols and no one culture that governs our behavior or teaches us how to be a “good wife” or husband. Contrary to our upbringing, especially as girls where every single day of your life you are being groomed to be a good wife by Zimbabwean standards. We also have the bible which gives us clear guidance in Ephesians 5:22-33 although it can be misinterpreted, and of course the Proverbs 31 woman (who leaves us women wondering if she even had a 9-5, I mean really?). So where does that leave the modern-day Muroora?

This past weekend we were invited to a friend’s house cooling, (yes I know, I’d never heard of a “house cooling” either) for those of you wondering what it is and before you go ahead and google it, it’s a farewell/packing up of the house.  I arrived at the house cooling first as Tapi had another engagement and was to come over a little later. The food was brought out and everyone began to dish their food. Ms Mati began to dish two plates, one for Tapi and one for herself.  I then wrapped Tapi’s food and put it away. The guys noticed this and gave me a weird “you can’t be that hungry” look, and I let them know the other plate was for Tapi because he was coming a little later. To say they were shocked would be an understatement, I’d describe the look on their faces as the kind of face someone would pull if they had bitten into a fifty thousand red chilies. They just couldn’t believe that I would dish his food first and put it away, even though he wasn’t there. I couldn’t understand why this was so surprising, don’t all wives serve their husbands food? Surely they had seen their own mothers do that for their fathers?  I later realised that the shock factor was more because they didn’t expect someone like ME to serve my husband as their own mothers would. Shock that in this day and age a ‘musalad’ wife living in the diaspora still acknowledges her culture but more importantly loves to cater to her man.

I couldn’t fully describe what is ‘to be woman’ or a modern-day muroora, but a few words do come to mind…It’s somewhere between: Lover, Leader, Co-ordinator, Chef, Stylist, Nurse, Psychologist , and looking like a million dollars while doing it all…besides, if he didn’t eat at the house cooling it would mean Ms Mati would be getting home to make dinner right? Yes, Strategic planner.

Dressed by Myer Spring clean sale – Culotte pants by Piper, Houndstooth Poncho by Design Studio and Tony Bianco heels.