Spring is upon us. Apparently…Although I find myself sitting here in my navy Kmart trackies, grey uni sweater, thick fluffy socks and the heater turnt all the way up with a cup of herbal, so lets just pretend it’s spring again. A new season means new clothes, new events and new friends. Speaking of new friends, I was introduced to Phoebe a couple of months ago just as she was planning to move to Melbourne from Canberra. At the time I didn’t realise we shared similar stories in that a year ago Phoebe (also a Zim daije) decided to take a break from her high-flying career as a human rights lawyer in Canberra to fulfill her other calling in life as a designer for her label ‘The Prodigal daughter’. It wasn’t long after she’d touched down that we found ourselves sitting in a parking lot speaking candidly about chasing Read More
We were from the same world but we had lived very different lives. It didn’t matter though. We became inseparable from that first day of Uni. To be honest I think I used to scare her a little. I was that friend that your parents would discourage you from hanging out with. Her Seventh Day Adventist upbringing and deep flowing Arundel blood told her to stay away, but something kept bringing her back. I think it was my fearless sense of fashion and my unapologetic opinion on campus fashion…as well as her fashion, which consisted of pink and purple velour tracksuits, large pink handbags, below the knee denim ski Read More
Reading all your thoughts on ‘The modern day Muroora’ got me really excited. I love it when women talk, when we share our experiences and allow other women to learn from them. The best part comes when we realise we are not alone in our experiences. We connect. I feel like we don’t talk enough though, especially as african women. I mean we talk a lot, but we don’t talk enough about the real stuff, everything else we deal with behind the clothes, nails, heels, recipes and weaves.
I feel it’s a massive gap in our culture. You have so much support leading up to the Lobola and the wedding (almost too much of it), the next day you are perekwad or taken to your in- laws, then everyone goes back to their life and you’re sort of left to your own devices in this new environment. Over night you go from being girl to wife. You are expected to adjust, just as our mothers did. But was it the same for her as it was for me? A Perfect example, I was one of the first to get married in my group of friends, so when we’d go to Zim I’d find myself in situations where my friends would be texting me like ‘are you coming out tonight’ or on group chat talking about ‘see you 7.30, we’ll do dinner’, apa I’d be mid kumona sadza in my mother in law’s kitchen, the lounge full of unexpected visitors here to see Muroora. You would quickly come to the realisation that you’re not going anywhere and it would likely be the second night in a row where you’ve had to bail on the girls after promising them a girls night out. You don’t want to loose the O.G “Mati” but your priorities have changed as well as doubled. You’re trying not to let anyone down but yet you find yourself constantly feeling guilty.
Speaking of going out, it had been a while so I was pretty excited about this upcoming 30th. Once again I hadn’t planned anything and last minute remembered this LPD ( little pink dress) that I hadn’t worn yet. Another one from Klassic Designs to add to my wardrobe. It’s either leg or cleavage for me and this dress has both so I chose leg and paired it with this Christopher Graf throwback vintage inspired jacket that a special friend from work gave me. If this jacket doesn’t say woman I don’t know what will.
It’s safe to say my transition was more trial and error as well as research and development! Lets save that for the next blog post shall we. Keen to hear about your transition though.
It’s certainly a hot topic when Zimbos come together. Especially in my circles, probably because all our friends are in that phase of their life where they’re looking for a husband or a wife or they just got engaged or married or are a few years into marriage. So why is it such a debatable topic? My thinking is that we were raised as Zimbabwean women and men and watched our mothers and fathers play that role according to our culture. We then left home at the tender age of eighteen to study and ended up making the diaspora our home. We’ve had to soak in this new life, environment and society, one that could be described as having no real protocols and no one culture that governs our behavior or teaches us how to be a “good wife” or husband. Contrary to our upbringing, especially as girls where every single day of your life you are being groomed to be a good wife by Zimbabwean standards. We also have the bible which gives us clear guidance in Ephesians 5:22-33 although it can be misinterpreted, and of course the Proverbs 31 woman (who leaves us women wondering if she even had a 9-5, I mean really?). So where does that leave the modern-day Muroora?
This past weekend we were invited to a friend’s house cooling, (yes I know, I’d never heard of a “house cooling” either) for those of you wondering what it is and before you go ahead and google it, it’s a farewell/packing up of the house. I arrived at the house cooling first as Tapi had another engagement and was to come over a little later. The food was brought out and everyone began to dish their food. Ms Mati began to dish two plates, one for Tapi and one for herself. I then wrapped Tapi’s food and put it away. The guys noticed this and gave me a weird “you can’t be that hungry” look, and I let them know the other plate was for Tapi because he was coming a little later. To say they were shocked would be an understatement, I’d describe the look on their faces as the kind of face someone would pull if they had bitten into a fifty thousand red chilies. They just couldn’t believe that I would dish his food first and put it away, even though he wasn’t there. I couldn’t understand why this was so surprising, don’t all wives serve their husbands food? Surely they had seen their own mothers do that for their fathers? I later realised that the shock factor was more because they didn’t expect someone like ME to serve my husband as their own mothers would. Shock that in this day and age a ‘musalad’ wife living in the diaspora still acknowledges her culture but more importantly loves to cater to her man.
I couldn’t fully describe what is ‘to be woman’ or a modern-day muroora, but a few words do come to mind…It’s somewhere between: Lover, Leader, Co-ordinator, Chef, Stylist, Nurse, Psychologist , and looking like a million dollars while doing it all…besides, if he didn’t eat at the house cooling it would mean Ms Mati would be getting home to make dinner right? Yes, Strategic planner.
Dressed by Myer Spring clean sale – Culotte pants by Piper, Houndstooth Poncho by Design Studio and Tony Bianco heels.
I always used to wonder how my life would turn out. I spent a lot of time daydreaming about the things I would achieve and most importantly the kind of man I would be in society. The other morning, I remembered a friend of mine in Uni asked me to write her a short piece on what I thought it meant ‘to be a man’…
Date:Fri, 28 Sep, 2007 at 20:24
Subject:to be a man..
“To be a man…”
The first thing about being a man is that one has to understand that he is not an island. A man has to realise that he has to be dependable and depend upon others. To be a man is to show respect of mankind regardless of what their status in life is. Being able to reach out to those in need and being able to give a smile to an individual whose life has not seen much joy is something that goes a long way. To be a man is to understand where one comes from, and as a result to represent his roots in the way he has been taught to do so. Read More
I had told her I was looking for something white. A high neck, something simple and chic. It was about 6.30 pm and the show was starting in half an hour. Whatever it was, I had to make it work. I had put all my faith in Emily once again and I knew that if anyone could come up with something that was so ME, in literally hours it would be her. I had spent two months planning and organizing everyone else and hadn’t thought once about what I was actually going to wear to FreekÁ!
Both Emily and I have been obsessing over Scuba-knit. Emily a bit more than me to be honest! From a designer’s perspective it’s a dream fabric to work with. It’s easy to drape and cut and it runs smoothly on the machine and from the customer’s perspective it really molds to your body, evens out your silhouette, hugs your curves and even gives the illusion of curves. Read More
“FreekÁ was always more than a fashion show. It became a living breathing way of life. A reminder of the beautiful souls I share my life with. It restored my faith in all things GOOD”. Billie our backstage co-ordinator posted this a day after FreekÁ. To say it resonated with me is an understatement. It spoke to my heart. In that one sentence she had managed to capture everything I had hoped FreekÁ to be and what it actually was. Read More
So you know how there’s that whole stigma around kurepeata ( the Zim way of saying repeating outfits) . The fear of being seen wearing the same thing twice, let’s face it girls ( and perhaps some guys) we’ve all suffered from it. For me it started somewhere around the age of fourteen when we started going to the “movies” kuAvondale on the weekend. ( i say “movies” because we never actually watched anything, we spent most of the afternoon walking the entire shopping center just to be “seen”). It gradually got worse with each year as the social events started increasing. The rugby on the weekend, rugby festivals, St Johns Spring Fair, Borrowdale Village. Read More
There’s something so exhilarating about being busy with your own work! I used to roll my eyes at people who would say “there are not enough hours in the day”…then again i was in a different place in those days ( behind a desk for 8 hours watching the clock and wondering what i was doing here) kinda place. Anyway! Moving on. Shoot day was finally here after weeks of planning. The morning began with me going through a checklist in my head . Models check. Photographer and Videographer check. Make-up artists check. Venue, check. Clothes and clothes racks check. Accessories check. Enroute to the shoot Tapi must’ve sensed my anxiety levels creeping up, so he turned off the radio and began to intercede for clear skies and no rain for our photo-shoot and that there would be a sense of togetherness, creativity and most importantly. Fun! Read More
For a while my photographer / tech assist / husband had been talking about how cool it would be to feature a male guest on the blog and to be honest I had brushed the idea aside given that no one had really come to mind. Well, that was until i came across Palmer’s Instagram page one fine day. It had been a while since I’d seen a Zim brother ( besides Tapi) who actually took pride in his appearance. A guy who got excited about what to wear, passionate about fashion and proud of the fact that he could name a fabric, fashion era and designer at a mere glance of an outfit. As we sat down in a coffee shop for this tell all interview, he simply ordered a pot of ginger and Lemongrass tea with a tub of honey on the side…I quickly realised I was in for a quite a few “aha moments”. Read More